Ever since I was a kid, I have despised my birthday. It didn’t matter if I was officially in the double digits or a legal adult, I was never a fan. As an extroverted introvert who is also socially awkward, I hate having any kind of attention on me (good or bad). Additionally, I hated the idea of aging. The unknown of what my future holds coupled with knowing that there will inevitably be change that’s outside of my control always terrified me. 

But, as external things change in our life, so do things internally. As I have inched closer to my 30th birthday, something has changed — I’m not scared of aging anymore. I have gained so many valuable life experiences this past decade. Through all of the ups and downs of my twenties, I’ve learned how deeply important platonic love is, the importance of independency (AND dependency), the value of advocacy and allyship, and that music will never be “just music” to me. 

I’m still not a fan of my birthday, but I don’t despise it anymore. In fact, I’m kind of excited to be 30? It’s weird, but it’s also rad.

This playlist is a collection of the 30 songs that have helped me make sense of myself and my life experiences for the past 30 years. Through all the good, the bad, and the in–between. Some are from my childhood (shoutout to Hannah Montana and Saving Jane), some are from my teenage years, and some are from this past week. 

Here’s to the next 30 years and no longer being terrified (well, mostly) <3