When I got into the emo scene back in 2005, I felt as though I had finally found a safe space with both the music I listened to and the people I surrounded myself with. 

I will never forget the first time I heard Fall Out Boy– my best friend, Cassandra, and I were watching MTV and they played the music video for “Sugar, We’re Goin Down.” Cassandra was instantly hooked on their music. I was still super into Britney Spears and other pop princesses (I was only 11), but shortly after my 12th birthday, I saw the music video for “This Ain’t a Scene, It’s An Arms Race” and was instantly brought into the Fall Out Boy phenomenon. Right after I watched that video, I instant messaged Cassandra and said, “I AM OBSESSED WITH FALL OUT BOY!” I bought their newest album, Infinity on High, at the store immediately. 

Fall Out Boy was not only just music for me, they were my therapy. Being an emo kid in middle school was not easy– I was bullied for the way I dressed and for the music I listened to. This had a negative impact on my self-esteem and mental health. Mental health was not talked about as openly back then as it is today. Therapy was often seen as a bad thing. Myspace made it easy to connect with other people online, not only to talk about Fall Out Boy, but also to have a safe space to talk with other kids who struggled like I did. 

Being a 13 year old girl who suffered from anxiety and depression, I often took to writing to express my emotions and how I was feeling. Fall Out Boy gave me the motivation to write and made me feel like I could express myself the way I wanted to. I took a creative writing class my freshman year of high school and often wrote about a girl who was struggling with her mental health. These writings and stories were sort of my cry for help, but I did not get the help I was searching for. At the time, schools didn’t really care much about anxiety, depression, eating disorders, etc. They read my writings and I never once got sent to the social worker or asked if I needed someone to talk to. Looking back at these writings today, I do not know how I wasn’t offered help. 

When I struggled the most, I would put my headphones on and blast Fall Out Boy in my ears. I learned to ignore the bullies and focus on myself and the music I was listening to. By tuning out the world around me, I was able to learn how to express my emotions and talk about them with my friends and parents.

My creative writing and my connection with Fall Out Boy is the reason I am a mental health clinician today. I knew from my adolescence that I wanted to talk to people about their emotions and give them a safe space to do so. I am so grateful that I ended up where I am today. I absolutely love my job and would not trade it for the world.

The connection that Cassandra and I had because of this band was unbreakable. 

I am forever grateful to her for introducing Fall Out Boy to me. My life would not be the same without her or this band.

Thank you, Fall Out Boy, for being the therapists pumping through my speakers.